The death of a baby at any stage in pregnancy or in the days following birth is shocking and usually unexpected.

The next days are extremely traumatic, and if you are an expatriate family, they can be made even more so by

There are many practicalities that you will need to undertake such as registering your baby and organising his or her funeral, all at a time when you are still in shock and your grief for your baby is very intense. During this time, you will undoubtedly have questions regarding both practical matters and grieving for your baby. Here we try to answer some of them, with information compiled with the help of both parents and professionals in Dubai.

The death of a baby is utterly devastating, no matter what the circumstances. For many parents it is totally unexpected, following a ‘textbook’ pregnancy. Others may have known that their baby was unwell, and perhaps had to make the very difficult decision either to terminate the pregnancy or to turn off their baby’s life support.

The contrast in emotions from happiness, excitement and looking forward to your baby’s arrival, is in sharp contrast with the intense shock and sadness that you will now be experiencing. We hope that the information in this section will help you at this very difficult time.

Spending time with your baby

In many cultures it is felt that spending time with your baby, seeing and holding him or her, helps parents to grieve. Many parents want to do so, whilst others are reluctant or frightened. For most parents it is a very special and comforting thing to do, and the time with their baby is very precious. It is a very personal decision, and your midwife or doctor may be able to help you to decide whether you wish to spend time with your baby, and to support you in doing so.

If you have friends or family members with you, you may also want them to see and hold your baby so that they are able to share with you the precious memories of him or her.

Some hospitals may encourage you to see your baby, whilst in others you may need to ask. At this time you may wish to ask a friend or family member to help you to do these things. We would however encourage you to ask and to ensure that you take the chance to spend time with your baby.

You may want to wash and dress your baby, and perhaps leave some items with him or her, such as:

After you have had the opportunity to spend some time with your son or daughter, his or her body will be taken to the hospital mortuary. This does not mean that you can’t see your baby again. If you do want to, then please ask the hospital staff to arrange for you to do so. Don’t be afraid to do so again and again, as the time you have with your son or daughter is very precious.

Creating memories of your son or daughter

Creating memories is very important and we would encourage you to take some photos of your baby. We would suggest that you do so as soon as possible. Remember that polaroids fade over time.

If you have chosen not to see your baby, you may wish to ask someone else, such as your midwife or a family member or friend, to take photos. This gives you the option to look at them at some stage in the future, should you feel later on that you would like to.

You may also wish to keep some or all of the following items, but please be aware that some hospitals may not be prepared to give you items such as labour notes.

Support for you

SANDS

If you would like to make contact with other parents who have also lost babies, then you may choose to contact SANDS (Stillbirth and Neonatal Society) here in Dubai.

One of our representatives will be available either to visit you (in hospital or at home) or to speak to you on the phone.

We also organise group meetings, and have a lending library of books and videos.