To those of you who look away when I grow teary eyed in the baby department, look a little deeper.
Surely you have some compassion in your heart.

To those of you who change the subject when I speak my child's name, change your way of thinking.
It may just change your whole life.

To those of you who roll your eyes and say we barely had them at all, how could we miss them so much, in our hearts we have seen them live a thousand times. We have seen their first steps, first day of school, their weddings, and their children. We have had them forever in our minds.

To those who say we can have another, even if we had twenty more they would never be the child we lost, and we will always miss them.

To those who say get on with my life, I have. It is a different life, the life of a grieving mother. One with a tremendous amount to be thankful for, but also one with a lot to mourn the loss of.

Do not judge a bereaved mother. She comes in many forms.

She is breathing, but she is dying.

She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.

She smiles, but her heart throbs.

She walks, she talks, she cooks, she cleans, she works, she IS, but she is NOT, all at once.

She is here, but part of here is elsewhere for eternity.

Do not dismiss us: we have shaped more than just the future generation.

We have released all the tiny angels who are watching over you.

Open your eyes to us, and you just might see them.

- Author Unknown -

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You never said I’m leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knew why.
A million times I needed you
A million times I cried
If love alone could have saved you
You never would have died.
In your short life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place
That no one could ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you
But you did not go alone
For part of me went with you

The day God took you home.

- Anon -

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Here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)


- EE cummings -

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If I could have breathed for you, I would have..
If I could have stopped world, for just that moment, I would have..
If I could have taken any pain of yours, and made it my own, I would have..
If I could have made it different, I would have done..
If I could have given my life for your life...I would have..
If each tear that falls, gives you a day of breathing, you would live past my life time..

If I can call you by name, and honour your spirit....
If I can claim my title 'mommy', and your title 'son'....
If I can love for the rest of my life time....
If I can be grateful, and hold onto, our love....
If I can see the gifts of what the 'pain' of 'knowing' has given me...
I will do....

- Gill -

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From ‘Say Olin to Say Goodbye’ by Don Hackett.

The time of concern is over. No longer are we asked how we are doing.
Never are the names of our children mentioned to us. A curtain descends.

The moment has passed. Lives slip from frequent recall.
There are exceptions: close and compassionate friends, sensitive and loving family.
For most, the drama is over. The spotlight is off. Applause is silent. But for us the play will never end.
The effect on us is timeless.
Say their names to us.
On the stage of our lives they have been both lead and supporting actors and actresses. Do not tiptoe around the greatest events of our lives.
Love does not die.

Their names are written on our lives.
The sound of their voices replay within our minds. You feel they are dead.
We feel they are of the dead and still they live. They ghost walk our soul, becoming in future welcome.
You say they were our children. We say they are.
Say their names to us and say their names again.
It hurts to bury their memory in silence. What they were in flesh is no longer with us.
What they were in spirit stirs within us always. They are of our past, but they are part of our now. They are our hope for the future.
You say not to remind us. How little you understand we cannot forget. We would not if we could.

We understand you, but feel pain in being forced to do so. We forgive you, because you cannot know.
And we would forgive you anyway. We accept how you see us, but understand that you see us not at all. We strive not to judge you, for yesterday we were like you.
We love you, will make no expectations toward you.
But we wish that you could understand that we dwell both in the flesh and in the spirit.
The mystery is that you do too, but know it not. We do not ask you to walk this road. The ascent is steep and the burden heavy.
We walk it not by choice. We would rather walk with them in flesh, looking not to spirit roads beyond. We are what we have to be. What we have lost, you cannot feel.
What we have gained, you cannot see. And we would not have you.

Say their names for they are alive in us.
They and we will meet again, though in many ways we’ve never parted.
They and their lives play light songs on our minds, sunrises and sunsets on our dreams.
They are real and in shadow, were and are.
So, say their names to us and say their names again.
They are our children, and we love them as we always did. Say their names!

- Author Unknown -

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What My Child Has Taught Me

I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I've learned that learning to forgive takes a lot of practice.

I've learned that friends can become strangers, and strangers can become friends.

I've learned that ignorance isn't an excuse for the lack of compassion.

I've learned that some people will never, ever - "get it".

I've learned that the community of sorrow is the strongest of all.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of minutes.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that love isn't measured by the amount of time you have with someone.

I've learned that some sorrow is so deep that it has no words. But so is love.

What has your child taught you?

- Author Unknown -

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Your joy is your sorrow unmasked
And the selfsame well
From which your laughter rises
Was often times filled with your tears
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being
The more joy you can contain
When you are joyous look deep into your heart
And you shall find it is only your sorrow
That is giving you joy
When you are sorrowful look again into your heart
And you shall see that in truth you are weeping
For that which has been your delight

(Kahlil Gibran The Prophet)

- Author Unknown -

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An Angel Never Dies
Don't let them say I wasn't born,
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I loved you from the start.

Although my body you can't hold,
It doesn't mean I'm gone,
This world was worthy not of me,
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face.
You''ll have my word, I'll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.

You'll hear that it 'was meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes,
But that won't soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.

I'm watching over all you do,
Another child you'll bear,
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips,
And you'll understand.

Although I've never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesn't mean I never 'was'
An angel never dies.

- Author Unknown -

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